I'm tying this very slowly, having to correct many mistakes. See, I'm typing while Crying and Sobbing Uncontrollably, the tears are like water works falling from my eyes. [Detoxing]
I woke at 4;55 feeling really good. I took my aspirin and 1/2 atenolol, then, it felt exactly like a wave of gloom washed over me around 7:30 I felt a warm surge start in my chest, then move all through my body, leaving me feeling weak, strange. Here I fucking go Again. I’m filled with anxiety, fear, feeling of impending death, alone, sadness, uncontrollable crying. I feel like screaming “PLEASE, someone come and just Hold me till it all goes away”.
I noticed this morning, I seem to hold my breath [a subconscious thing]? I notice it all of a sudden, I then breath again.
I had 2 weeks of feeling a little better, is that that ALL I can fucking have? Why did I crash so soon?
Usually I make it at least to the full moon, then, next day I crash. The full moon is 4 days away. Maybe the Lunar Eclipse is effecting me?
Nothing in the nightmare makes ANY sense or follows ANY rules. Always Expect the unexpected, you can feel like a million, then at the blink of an eye you will feel like total shit . Unable to function.
The entire month of March was Horrific for me, Every fucking Day I was filled with Anxiety, intense fear, sadness, uncontrollable tears and constant thoughts of Dying.
When I woke one morning [2 weeks ago] actually feeling good, I was a bit suspisious it took a couple days, then I actually had a day when I had no pains for the entire morning, when they returned, they were minor. I throughly enjoyed Every One of those days, so did Zeus. The Good Days are so short lived aren't they.